Wherein the home study is complete and our cheese runs in fear

First, let me start by saying that I apologize for getting this up so late after the home study. Second, let me finish by saying it is such a relief to have it in the rear-view mirror. The home study wasn't hard by any stretch, but Ashley and I put so much of ourselves into preparing that I think we built it up into something greater than what is was. All it amounted to was a woman a few years older than Ashley or I coming into our home and asking us a questions regarding our past (how we met, our childhoods, etc.). The icing on the cake was that our social worker completing the home study knew at least two people from our church. It was talking with a good friend. She clearly knew how to make a home study easy on the participants. In fact, if we had the same social worker, I'd do another home study in a heart beat. I really enjoyed getting to reminisce with Ashley.

The home study paper work should be done in about two weeks. In addition, we finally got our background check applications in the mail from Light House and sent them off for completion. That only leaves the profile book, which we ordered today. That's all of it folks! It won't truly be finished until the profile books are in the hands of Light House and our social worker in Florida, but it is such a weight off our chests. I can't wait to hear about our first showing!

On the lighter side, my love for cheese knows no bounds. Sure, I may not like all cheeses; but I sure do enjoy the good ones. We've been a little "cheese impaired" the last couple of months. First, one of our cheese graters lost its handle then our cheese slicer went out of commission. Thankfully we had a cheese knife, but still...it was harder to enjoy one of my favorite treats. NOT ANYMORE! Ashley and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond last night and got ourselves a new grater and cheese slicer; and the slicer has this fantastic, squishy handle. No blisters from cutting cheese for this guy! We also bought a paper towel holder from one of the only companies with which I will remain brand loyal, Simple Human. They're probably the Apple of home goods, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is there products are fantastic and I won't say any more about them without further provocation. Seriously. I'm done.

Disappointments and what comes next

As you may or may not have heard, our home study appointment was postponed. I think it's safe to say that we're a little disappointed, but we are encouraged by the quick turn around. To sum it all up, the children of the social worker who was to do our home study on Monday came down with colds; therefore, she had to care for her kids. God willing, she will be performing the home study this Friday night at 6:30 pm. Friday wasn't one of her available days initially, so we're thankful that she's making room for us.

In the meantime we've been focusing a lot of our energy into our profile book. Ashley has taken the lead with the design, and she's doing quite the bang up job! We've been scouring our hard drives for photos, but we've noticed that we haven't done the best using our cameras. I think there are more pictures of our dog than of either of us, especially Ashley. Looks like I need to be more of a shutter bug. I'll work on that. Anyway, our hope is to have the profile book finished by this weekend.

I believe that the most important part of our profile book is our "birth mother" letter. For those of you who don't know, it is a letter either independent of a profile book or in the first few pages that is addressed specifically to the birth mother and/or her family. It's the only real opportunity to speak directly to the mother. I was afraid that writing it would make me feel like I was making a Powerpoint slide deck. Something like:

"The Top 10 Reasons to Choose the Muehlbauer's"


Fortunately that wasn't the case. We ended up writing what I think is a very heartfelt message that in some ways preached into our own lives/ Ashley suggested including scripture in the letter, and God directed me to this:

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 ESV)


Though the context speaks of future glory attained on Christ's return, it also refers to suffering. I'm not putting our pain on the same level as the worst emotional or physical suffering, but to deny it's hurt would be oversimplifying it. Regardless, we have God's revealed will that says this thorn, if you will, will be worked out for our eternal good; and that brings me comfort.

Home Study

Well, we officially have our paperwork completed and have our home study on the calendar! The home study is one of the most important parts of the adoption process--we can't proceed with anything until we have it completed. A social worker will come into our home, take a tour of our house, gather all of our important documents, and interview us. Then once she makes a write-up (which could take a couple of weeks, depending on how busy she is) and everything is approved, we officially start waiting to be matched with a birth family! Our home study is scheduled for next Monday (as in 4 days from now)!!

In case you are curious, here are some of the documents we needed to gather:
-copy of most recent tax return
-copy of drivers licenses
-copy of marriage certificate
-copy of birth certificate
-verification of insurance
-letter of good standing from financial institutions
-proof of employment (mine is funny since I'm self-employed)
-medical report from physician
-4 personal reference letters
-child abuse/neglect screening and police check
-FBI fingerprint check
-proof of last will and testament
-proof that our dog is current on her shots

There are times when we've been frustrated to have to go through all of this to prove that we will be good parents, but in the grand scheme of things, it's easy and well worth it. And if I was giving my child up for adoption, I would want the adoptive parents to have been fingerprinted...This process is just forcing us to be responsible parents/adults, which is never a bad thing.

I'm sure in these next couple of days I will be running through answers in my head to potential interview questions (they ask a lot of personal questions like "What would you change about your spouse?"), cleaning behind the refrigerator, baking lots of cookies, and doing other silly and pointless things to "prepare." But when it comes down to it, I have faith that no matter how eloquent we answer the questions, the social worker will see that we'll be great parents!

So this is a major step toward getting our baby. Now all we have left to do is make our profile book--another extremely important step. This is basically a photo book of our family with a letter to the birth family, and it is basically how we will get matched. My book designer self is excited about that part! But first things first...home study!

That is the question

Just to reassure all of you, no, neither Ashley nor I have tuberculosis.

TB or not TB

As Ashley and I finish up the home stretch of home study prep, I think I need to speak to one of the more light hearted moments in this process. Part of our paper work required recent physicals, but we had never found a primary care provider since moving the Kansas City in 2008. After finding a doctor with whom we felt comfortable, we scheduled our appointments for last Thursday, March 1st.

It was the typical physical fare, but the physician wanted us to take a TB (tuberculosis) skin test. I've never had one of these tests because I was pretty sure I haven't had nor currently do have tuberculosis; but we scheduled this final test for last Monday, March 5th. Now, the premise of this test is to have a special solution injected just beneath your top layer of skin. I didn't know this going into the test. I assumed something more in line with a petri dish. The injection creates a bubble in your skin. Well, it looks more like there's buried treasure in your arm. If you doubt me, use the magic of the internet and take a peek. All I could think of during the injection was blowing bubbles in milk.

Don't meditate on that visual for too long. It's a little weird.

We have our results read tomorrow.

A little bit of our story...

For those of you who don't know, here is a little bit of our story. After we got married, Jeremy and I imagined getting a cute little house, an adorable puppy, and having 3 red-headed/blonde kiddos. We got the house and the dog (yes, she is adorable). I started freelancing from home so that I could keep working but stay home with our babies. We both have a huge heart for adoption and have always said that it was something we wanted to do even if we could have biological children, but we decided to try to get pregnant first before pursuing adoption. After a year of trying, we were being treated for infertility: undergoing test after test, ultrasounds and blood draws every couple of weeks. I took drugs to make me ovulate (even though I was doing that just fine on my own), and we waited month after month, only to be disappointed each time.

In August 2011 I had a laparoscopic surgery and was diagnosed with moderate endometriosis. (You can read about that here if you don't know what it is.) We were told that we had the best chance of getting pregnant within 3-6 months of the surgery, but that we should see a specialist. We decided to wait it out on our own, but only lasted a couple of months before we scheduled a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist to see what our options were moving forward. We decided to try three months of IUI. More waiting. More disappointment. The only thing left was in vitro (IVF), something we were uneasy about and had said from the beginning we wouldn't do. As time went on, though, and after seeing pregnant woman after pregnant woman, the desire for biological children was overwhelming. We saved the money, prepared ourselves for the possibility of twins and scheduled an appointment. We just had one or two questions that we needed to have answered before moving forward.

After a quick meeting with our doctor, we felt defeated. Our concerns about IVF were confirmed and we decided it was too much of a gamble with the lives of our precious babies, not to mention an incredible financial risk. That's when we came to see that God was calling us to adoption now--not later in life. We mourned (and continue to mourn) that we might never get pregnant, but were filled with incredible excitement that our dream of adoption might actually come true--and soon!

We jumped right in--speaking with dear friends who have adopted children, researching agencies, social workers, etc. etc. In February we turned in our application to a wonderful agency here in KC, we've made connections with a social worker in Florida, and we've been consumed with gathering paperwork in preparation for our home study. The wheels are moving!

We couldn't be more excited for the possibility of a little one in our home. We don't know if it will be a month or a couple of years until that becomes a reality, but right now we're feeling optimistic. Looks like my home office will soon be a nursery! 

Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

 

Welcome!

Welcome family and friends! We've decided to start this blog to keep everyone up to date on our (hopefully not too long) journey to adopting our first child. We've already received so much support and encouragement from so many of you these last couple of years, and we want you all to know how thankful we are! These last two and half years have been the most challenging and difficult season of both of our lives, but we look back upon it with thankfulness and eagerness for the next chapter. We can't wait until we can rename this blog, "A Guy, a Girl, a Dog, and a Baby!"

--Jeremy & Ashley